For the past couple of hours, I have had a constant, dull feeling that I could not quite put my finger on and describe until now: the feeling before attempting a chemistry problem. This may seem like a stretch, but please bear with me. For those of you who have not taken General Chemistry, the feeling I get before attempting a chemistry problem is a mixture of 50% fear, 25% excitement, and 25% anticipation. Will I be able to figure it out? Will I get the correct answer? Where do I even begin? The fear stems from the possibility of failure while the excitement and anticipation stem from the possibility of working an entire, page-long problem and arriving at the correct answer. If you do the math, that means I feel that a chemistry problem has 50% chance of failure and a 50% of success. To relate this back to CR, I guess I am scared of failing. What happens if I fall into a routine and miss the excitement and spontaneity of the trip? What if I get homesick and hope for the days to pass instead of enjoying every moment? Then again, I have always been too hard on myself in chemistry, and CR definitely is not a chemistry problem. To readjust my attitude, I am not going to be afraid of failing. Why should I be afraid of failure?
Instead of a 50/50 chance of success, I have the power to make sure that CR has no possibility of failure. I will embrace the mistakes and will think of them as learning experiences, I will be sure to be present in every moment, I will keep an open mind, and I will constantly remind myself that I do not have a “do-over” option (as I did with many, many chemistry problems).
On a different note, in 18 hours, I will be boarding the first of three flights to Berlin, and that is absolutely wild. I cannot wait to really get to know each other person and form relationships that surpass the usual, surface level kind. We have only heard about the friendships formed through CR, and now we finally get to experience it for ourselves. I cannot wait to see the amazing architecture and art and learn about the extensive, unique history behind each city. I will no longer have to experience the cities of Berlin, Munich, Interlaken, Florence, Cinque Terre, or Rome through internet photos. I cannot wait to grow as a person. CR is going to be different from anything I have ever experienced. I am so excited that I get to be a part of all of this.
I am ready to totally shatter my comfort zone and immerse myself into the trip. Again, why should I be scared of failure? I am not in General Chemistry anymore. Go CR 9!